me n olive

obsessed with

this must be the place naive melody

keep listening to it

must stop

can't stop



eric says girls are repeat and boys are random

maybe he's right

me n olive

in bed

tap tap tap.......i'm still skeptical about eric's claim to no memory....or no actually sounds quite nice...what space would be cleared if i was eric!!!!........tap tap tap............i'm doing a video project which i must complete just for fun........mainly for my own amusement.....people singing in different backgrounds/nature/public spaces/ to songs with headphones on.......i need better headphones according to eric.........i bought a 13.99 pair from best buy..there's no inbetween when it comes to was either 10.99 or 159.99....outrageous! i want those big ridiculous looking headphones...only they don't plug into ipods....maybe i should just have the people carry a big old ghetto blaster on thier shoulders.........and plug into that...still need headphones though.....

hmmmmmmmmm....pointless post...but no one reads this anyway!!!

-bye...tap tap
me n olive


paranoid maybe

should i write here

this is not the place i think

maybe i should

make it public.....i'm not supposed to talk to anyone but this is okay right?

it's just like talking to myself....

but talking to other people is the same....if you did it you'd find it's just like talking to what's the difference....i guess one of us can be happier about it

as if i'm two people

maybe that's why i'm such a failure when it comes to communication......i've only really tried once

self esteem?

then i think

no..that's ridiculous

....i fucking love's easy.....i trust me....i'm here for the long haul.....i have lots of time

i like to challenge myself...want things rigth away though...need control

solitude cravings all the time.......but it's like the trees.....

i like a good challenge...

i should relax's like having an asthma attack that's lasted 26 years

paranoid.....i feel like the cliches i hate

now i'm gonna go make art about it on my


my parents said i complained too much as a child and was very argumentative...i liked a good debate...i was always the instigator...seeing how to push the buttons......

i joined the debate team only to be kicked out

when i threw a shoe at my opponent

lincoln douglas

i think it suited me more than the duets category which was more about becoming characters

picking some sort of random topic that you dont even care about but then being able to feign emotion and compassion because that's what always wins

rational thought always won you the points, which i could always pull off very easily,,,but it was boring

i'm the one who drove it home

like fox george.......

i'm fox news


it's all about the show and i know/care about nothing

and so...........

you scare me

i can't trust you

you should go away while you can...because you can..

.....i can't.........and why should i hate myself or be unhappy...that's dumb...i'm just starting to figure things feels good.......not at all liek a surprises me

i am happy thinking......

i shouldn't stop

or i would feel nothing...i'd be an alcoholic....even as an alcoholic

i'd just be sleepy and thinking

i could be happy as an alcoholic...although it would require an extra activity

i like to simplify things

no drugs alcohol

i don't need them.......why should i multitask only to have the same



you are maybe just too complicated....

adding to my paranoia.....

it's like

that circle thing

i have this stencil

and i could easily use it to draw perfect circles, but i don't

i'm sort of dumb like that

i keep the stencil around just to remember what a real circle looks like

mine are just as nice

maybe nicer

because they have character

who wants a perfect circle anyway

me n olive


find a baby with a comb over and a large middleaged man with lots of hair who is willing to pose nude with vaseline rubbed on him........i suppose i'll have to resort to "the list".......but it's scary.......maybe i'll have to make the baby from a mold and then use eric's pubic hair for the comb over.........gross.......i like
me n olive

soopa inspiration

so.....the only journal i really read is soopageeks- i love photography and i've been closely following the nauseating love affair between him and the infamous welfy.......

eric showed me the movie and so i was deeply inspired....this is a tribute to ericexit and soopageek......enjoy!


me n olive

Emo kid

Emo Kid
You are 42% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.
You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being. Your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.


Your exact opposite is the Smartass .

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie , the Televangelist , and the Starving Artist .



If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid : Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist : Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap : Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute : Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie : Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist : Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully : Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown : Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot : Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual : Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner : Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath : Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser : Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart : Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig : Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass : Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender :
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You scored higher than 24% on Rationality
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You scored higher than 11% on Extroversion
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You scored higher than 49% on Brutality
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You scored higher than 20% on Arrogance
Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid
me n olive

pretty eric

i made a pretty picture of eric........aaaawwwwwwwww.....

i still can't figure out the focus thing with the extension tube though.....what the hell.....usually when i focus i use the ditsnce scale and go by my fstop ....stupid me was shooting all the way open and at an 8th of a second trying to get eric's eyes in focus...but sort of worked to focus on the eyes then re-frame...but it was really weird because you would think tilting the camera actually makes the subject either further or closer away from the film plane.....but i'm not sure the tilt matters because it's not like 4x5 or something ....but the little half circle shows nothing in focus except for what's in the center of it- so you have to have your subject exactly in the center to check to see if it is actually focused- but who puts thier subject in t he center- hence the tilting...but it may just be you have to keep the camera at the same angle and just use a tripod to move it up to the point of focus/focus/ and then move it back to the framign you like???????....but what a pain in the asss that would be.....hmmmmmmmm...i may take my whole system to ken bangerter...he's this old weird guy who got in this accident and learned everything he could about cameras while he was sick and now he is sort of the town consultant on anythign and everythign related to photography...he works out of his basement which is crazy ....a crazy basement full of cameras and camera parts hanging and jutting out from everywhere........anyway........i neeed help..i'm supposed to go shoot some very important work this weekend and i don't even know how to focus my damn camera...maybe i'll just shoot digital...but digital is such a cop out......i'm so torn!!!!
me n olive

video project

I go 80's dancing every friday night at this tiny bar in town and it occurred to me that I always saw the same people there week after week and none of us actually interact or talk to one another. I like it that way- it's all about the dancing. It gave me an idea for a video project and so I've been trying to get some of those people to come into my studio and dance to a song of thier choice while being videotaped. I have done five people so far- i like the look of it- really bright even lighting and an all black background. The music doesn't so m uch matter to me since I plan on showing the piece without sound.

So last weekend I approached three goth girls about modeling and they were very excited about it. I was too- most of my recordings have been cute little indie kids. So I got numbers and names and called today to schedule the shoot, but one of the numbers was disconnected with no further information. I was a little confused and I had heard that a girl named emily died a couple days ago, but there are so many emilys i though it could not be her. Well, it was her that died. I looked up her full name in the ithaca journal and her obituary was there. I was really creeped out. I just talked to the girl a couple days ago....we were supposed to schedule for sunday nigth but it ended up being canceled- she died monday night. She was only young.....and what is even more sad is that she left a baby behind. It said she died "unexpectedly" but it was an overdose according to close friends.

Anyway.....just had to write this down as I am still feeling a little funny about the whole thing.